


Regrets and guilt

by RowN



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Background Hagakure Yasuhiro, Background Naegi Makoto, Background Ogami Sakura, Background Togami Byakuya, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Dead Enoshima Junko, Dead Ogami Sakura, F/F, Gen, Hallucinating Asahina Aoi, Hallucinations, Post-Dangan Ronpa 1, Post-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:21:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28880163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowN/pseuds/RowN
Summary: After leaving the Hope's Peak Academy, Aoi is starting to hallucinate because she can't deal everything that happened to them and to her.
Relationships: Asahina Aoi & Enoshima Junko, Asahina Aoi & Genocider Syo | Genocide Jack, Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura
Kudos: 5





	Regrets and guilt

Aoi didn’t have a lot left to do. She took care of the safety of all the zone around the team and she was absolutely sur that there wasn’t anything dangerous anymore around there. Obviously, they would keep taking turns this night again, the world after the Tragedy wouldn’t get better in one day just because they were out of the Hope’s Peak Academy, they knew it, so they were still careful about the dangers around them. Aoi was the one dealing the best with the safety of the group, with Sho, so they were often in a team for that. Aoi didn’t like the murderer, it was still complicated between them two – and she was still angry at Byakuya and Yasuhiro too – but they were able to deal with it long enough to not fight and kill each other since there were way too many dangerous things around them. It was a deal between them that was working well for now, only because Makoto asked them so nicely. No one could refuse anything to him, he was the one who saved them all after all.

She climbed up on a pile of a destroyed building and looked in the distance. Everything was so calm; the city was definitely deserted. She had no idea what to think about it. She really didn’t want to think it was a good thing because it clearly wasn’t, she knew it, but she was still reassured to not cross anyone’s path because she didn’t wat to do that at all, not with two years simply erased from her memory, not in the middle of the Apocalypse, not in these circumstances at all. People could be really dangerous, Junko’s videos proved it. Well, it wasn’t like she could prove that everything in the videos were still going on but… she couldn’t deny that something horrible happened and that the consequences were still visible either. She could maybe feel safer if Sakura was here, but she wasn’t and all she could do was to try to move forward from it.

“Don’t make me laugh.”

A shiver of horror went through all of her body and she turned back as fast as she could. She felt panic taking control of her, like sharp nails sliding down her back, threatening her with a fake and terrific softness. She looked all around her carefully, knowing way too well that there was nothing to be afraid of, at least, not what she was afraid of.

She knew that voice, she knew it way too may even if she had so little memories of it, it was scaring her, hitting her mind hard, mocking her, insulting her, reminding her of her fears. She couldn’t sleep anymore during nights, every time she tried it, the Ultimate Despair was haunting her.

“You think you have the right to move on?”

She withdrew to herself and covered her ears to not hear the Ultimate Fashionista, but she knew it was useless, she knew way too well that the voices were from inside her head and that she was just going crazy and hallucinating because of the lack of sleep but she just could not think straight enough to convince herself of that totally.

She opened her eyes and maybe her sight was blurry because of the tears sliding up and getting stuck in her eyes but she was sure her shadow was not her shadow anymore but Junko’s, crossing arms and laughing so loud her twin tails were shacking so very much.

“You’re such a big selfish Hana, you know that? A huge, big selfish, egocentric. You don’t deserver to move on, you deserve to suffer, to suffer even more, until you go completely crazy!

-Shut up. Leave me alone, please.”

She went of the pile, trying to step on her shadow, vainly. Her hands were still pressing hard on her ears, she was going to hurt herself like this, but she just wanted Junko to shut up, shut up, shut up!

“Don’t you think it’s at least a little your fault? Sakura’s dead because of you.

-Non, it’s not true! Sakura killed herself because you were threatening her and because she loved us way too much to hurt anyone!

-You? Oh sweety, I hope you’re only talking for yourself because _you_ were the one, she loved, and it was because she trusted you that she killed herself. Because she loved you more than anything else. Because you love everyone so much. Because you loved her so much you were ready to die for her.

-Shut up.

-She couldn’t let you do that; you know that as much as I do. Sho would have ended up killing you because of how much you were protecting her, and she had to stop you. So, it’s your fault she’s dead.

-Shut up!”

She was screaming now. If one of her friends was passing by, they would think she was just crazy.

“Your friends?”

Junko’s shadow burst in laugh and it was like if it was piercing her eardrums. She was crying for good this time, tears sliding hard on her cheeks.

“You’re such a joke, my dear! What do you mean, _your friends_? You tried to kill them! You wanted to kill them to avenge you sweat and soft Sakura, you think you’re so good? Don’t make me laugh, they hate you and you know it right.

-Stop!

-You wanted to kill them and that wasn’t even what Sakura wanted! You were about to betray your friendship, to ruin everything just good because you were so angry, and you were thinking your own friends killed your lover! You refused so much to think they were innocents that you wanted to condemn them all, even if it implied dying yourself for that. You are the _worst_ friend they can ever hope having. They hate you. They all hate you. You wanted to kill them, and they will never forgive you for that.

-I told you to shut up!

-If you want so much to die to join your dear Sakura, you should kill yourself, here and now. Like that you would spare everyone from your useless life as useless as a useless mosquito.

-I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!!”

She hit hard her shadow with her feet, vainly, slapping hard on the ground with all of the rage and strong she had as the Ultimate Swimmer. She kept screaming with rage until she heard some noises. She turned around as fast as possible and faced Sho. The murderer was staring at her without understanding what was going on, her head lightly bent on the side, her tongue hanging out, frowning with obvious judgment.

“What are you doing? You’re so weird, stupid.”

Aoi didn’t answered and burst in tears and fell on her knees. She curled up around herself, her hands grabbing so hard her arms she was hurting herself, and cried like a baby, desperate. She didn’t even pray attention to the Ultimate Murderous Fiend who was rushing towards her, angry.

“OH! Shut the fuck up, you’ll get us problems!”

Sho shook her with anger but Aoi didn’t calm down and hurried in hers arms to keep on crying. The murderer lifts up her scissors, ready to kill her.

“I miss her so much!”

Sho stopped herself just in time and stayed perfectly quiet for a long time and then let her arms go down again. It was like if what Aoi was saying was making no sense to her.

“What are you talking about?

-Sakura! I miss her! I miss her so much!”

Sho put her hands on Aoi’s back. The Ultimate Swimmer startled, really panicking because of the scissors that were cold on her back, because the murderer didn’t drop it.

“So, you really like Ogre, right?

-She has a name.

-I don’t care.”

It angered Aoi a lot, but she didn’t answer. She wasn’t lacking enough sleep to fight a murderous fiend who had her favorite weapons loved on her back. She wasn’t usual Sho’s victims type but she already attacked her before, and she wasn’t playing her life. Also, Sho was always giving people nicknames she would not change just to please Aoi.

“Hush with the cry now. Ogre is dead, she won’t come back.

-You’re bad at comforting people.

-I’m not comforting you, dumbass. I’m saying facts. Grow up a little. People die every day.

-Are you for real? You’re the one telling me that?

-Shut up you stupid, I’m not finished!”

Aoi didn’t really want to let her finish.

“You went so far to avenge Sakura already, don’t you think?”

_Oh_ … of course, she was going to talk about the trial.

“I think it’s good now, you can let her go now, don’t you think? Grieve a little.

-What do you know about that?”

Sho seemed to think about it for a long, very long time, which was surprising.

“You’re right, I know nothing about that. I really don’t know much about grieving or that kind of dumb things but you’re there, having a breakdown or something and I’ll be the one having problems if I have to kill you before you kill my Master.

-You don’t really seem to care about me.

-I clearly don’t give a fuck about you, clearly. It’s the others who like you. Imagine if you make them sad, turning crazy?

-Do you know that mourning isn’t that easy?

-No, I don’t, I told you I didn’t know a damn about that. Still, I’m not the one slamming the ground and screaming for no reason.”

Sho grabbed her by the shoulders and moved her to look her in the eyes.

“When was the last time you slept?

-And you?

-I’m used to insomnia, the other one is a writer. Answer.”

Aoi shrugged.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care, I can’t sleep.

-What’s that excuse? Don’t you have anything better to say? How can you survive if you can’t sleep?

-Shut up.”

Sho didn’t seem to like it at all. Her left hand stayed on Aoi’s shoulder while she put her finger on her temple.

“You’re too boring, ok? You think I don’t know what you have? Should I remind you who I am, dumbass? You’re about to go crazy because you’re lacking sleep and you will die if you don’t sleep fast. I don’t know what dumb hallucinations you have, and I don’t give a damn about it but you’re going to deal with it and go to sleep.

-I can’t, she’s going to-

-Nothing. She’s going to do absolutely nothing. I don’t know if you’re hallucinating about Ogre or who the fuck knows about, it’s not our problem, but you’re going to get us killed with your bullshit and no one wants that.

-You say that like if you cared.

-Oh my god, you’re so stupid.”

Sho got up, still holding Aoi by her jacket to force her to get up too.

“We’re going back, and you will sleep, even if I have to knock you down for that, okay? You’re too selfish, it’s like you don’t care becoming crazy and that’s shit. We don’t have time for your little breakdown, okay? You’ll wait to see a psychologist to cry, now we’re coming back.”

Aoi let herself getting dragged by the murderer without any will. Sho yelling at her just proved to her that Junko, as unreal as she was, was right. She was bothering everyone and her mind messing her was just aggravating that. Before she joined back their misfortune camp of their little group of survivors, Sho stopped again and gave her a bothered look.

“Hey. I don’t care at all about you, I only love my Master. But the other dumbasses, they like you so try for them all.”

Aoi’s shadow was once again copying Junko, mocking, but this time she was able to ignore it, maybe because her friends still liked her and that it was at least that.


End file.
